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Ravi Singh has yet to finish any of his work for the presentation he’s headed cross-country to give in a few hours, but he’s fully prepared to be the savior if the plane should crash. Since the second he chose the emergency exit window seat while ordering his ticket online, Singh didn’t balk at the opportunity to help others, “I’ve been rehearsing for several weeks in front of the bathroom mirror at home.”

Singh goes on to say that he’s 50/50 on whether he wants the plane to go down or not. “I really want to save lives, but I also wouldn’t mind not being in a plane crash. However, if it should happen, I am prepared to fulfill my obligations as the Emergency Exit Life Saver Guy.” He claims that he even has a little shtick prepared to keep the mood light after the crash. “I’m thinking of doing a little Seinfeld. Keep it clean, you know: ‘what’s the deal with emergency exits on airplanes anyway?'”

Before publication of this article, we at Satiric Lyric heard the unfortunate news that Singh’s plane had landed safely in San Francisco, where he gave one of the worst presentations in company history.

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